Oct. 15, 2017

lowlife tip of the month-all you young men out there, when you date someone with a pet make note of how old it is. keep a chart of all of them with when that pet might die based on life expectancy…years later at that time start sniffing around again so you can be there when it expires, to get one last roll in the hay when they are emotionally vulnerable #imsosorry #isthereanythingicando #doyouwanttotalkaboutit #andoutthedooryougointhemorning
“plans are nothing, planning is everything” Dwight D Eisenhower


Oct. 13 , 2017

I’d like to suggest, in lue of recent news, that in tandem with of all the abstract ways parents try to instill confidence and self esteem in their daughters, they spend equal time reaching them a straight jab. It’s a nice quick problem solver for them to have in the ole tool box, when a situation comes up where the existential stuff isn’t suited to the task.
power from the hips and shoulders, twist the wrist, hit with the first two knuckles…aim for the bridge of the nose. Then other woman will know right off when they see a guy with a caved in shnozz that he’s probably a creep. #markofshame

Oct. 12 , 2017

almost all of these incidents/assaults with Weinstein involve him greeting women while he’s wearing a bathrobe. “Bathrobe”? Is this a rich person thing? I haven’t owned a bathrobe since I was like 12. I just swing the door open, naked and shivering, yelling “WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Can’t I have five minutes to myself to take a f*cking shower?!”

Really, I don’t get that part. Was the bathrobe some kind of way for him to gauge the situation? like depending on how they reacted to him being in just a bathrobe? If it was it’s a bad gauge…If a woman that I WANTED to sleep with opened the door and was in a bathrobe, I’d just figure out some reason to leave quickly and come back some other time because I’d assume I interrupted her just before she was going to take a shower.

Is there something sexual implied by wearing a bathrobe that I don’t understand? It’s one step away from them greeting you with their toothbrush in their mouth. I don’t get it.

Oct. 10 , 2017

Harvey Weinstein is in trouble for sexually harassing women, AND for calling one a “fat pig”…geeze first, you can’t make it clear you want to sleep with them, and then you can’t make it clear you don’t want to sleep with them…make up your minds ladies.

Oct. 10, 2017

If I was a tattoo artist, whenever a blind guy came in for a tattoo I wouldn’t actually use any ink. I’d just run the tattoo gun over him for like an hour on whatever body part and send him on his way. #whywastetheink  #freemoney #hewillneverfindhiswaybackhere #hedoesntknowwhatIlooklike

October 8, 2017

the vitamin D you get from the sun is very important. And some people can store it up…like camel. That’s actually what Melanomas are. They are pockets of vitamin D that your body is storing up for times when it is not sunny. – is what I would say to people if I was a surgeon and just didn’t feel like operating on them. #meh #dayoffinstead

October 5

Lookee what the Mailman brought today. Copies of my alternative cover for Valiant’s F.F.F. colored by Erika Rolbiecki even though it’s just a part and off to the side, the look on Bloodshots face cracks me up.

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September 30

I think I have finally managed to unfollow everyone who constantly posts political screed, AND everyone who posted a pic of Hugh Heffnor with a playboy bunny…i just…I don’t want to think about an old man sleeping with a 20 year old, it’s creepy.
….No, YOU’RE projecting

September 22

Did some sketching today for people Cincinnati Comic Expo

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September 21 ·

88Nine RadioMilwaukee
Re: your “sound travels” segments featuring “music” from foreign lands…PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. I don’t know what is more awful…the incoherent yodeling of garage band level musicians from third world countries or the f*cking backstory we don’t need to hear. “he would put wads of paper in his guitar to give a different sound” oh gee, isn’t that interesting…NO ONE GIVES F*CK. I know you’re really getting off by naming bands/countries know one ever heard off, and don’t we all think they are full of moxie for owning an amplifier in a land with no access to indoor plumbing or polio vaccine but that don’t change that fact that it’s f*cking ear poison.
Do you understand that this segment (interruption of music) doesn’t even need to exist. I don’t know if you’re aware but we all have the internet and hear music from “foreign lands” whenever we want, in fact…your’s and other radio station also play foreign music all the time…now that I think about it 30% of your REGULAR PLAYLIST is musicians from outside the U.S.. this is a solution in search of a problem.
What this segment should be called is SH*TTY MUSICIANS no one ever heard of that the DJ probably is name dropping to impress someone or convince himself that this is a “career”. If I want to seek out new exotic music I ain’t gonna go looking for recommendations from some sitting in guy in a studio in MILWAUKEE.
Now…go back to playing hot millennials who are too young to realize they are ripping off the pretenders.

September 17

On recommendation ( constant badgering) from a friend, I have watched 45 minutes of Andy Kaufman doing stand up.
*shrugs*…I don’t get it.
All comedians and comedy writers who go on and on about this guy I will now look at like game of thrones fans…for reasons that I cannot fathom they think something is great…that I never need to see another second of.