Jan. 8, 2018

My productivity has dropped by at least 25% since I got this back scratcher. I had an itch I couldn’t quite reach…that was at 7:30…I’ve been scratching my back with my eyes rolled back in my head for 11 minutes. It just feels so good, y’know …ahhh…kinda like when you clean your ears with a q-tip first thing in the morning…oh…I’m gonna go get a q-tip. Imma try one hand on the scratcher and one with a q-tip in the ear. What’s that broads name who sings about the white rabbit? I’m putting that song on. nothing else is getting done today, I can tell you that right now.
Tomorrow for the sake of my career, I’m throwing away the scratcher.

Jan. 8, 2018

It’s David Bowies birthday! He died at age 69, proving that being a creative genius doesn’t mean your life has to be a trainwreck that ends with dying too young from an overdoes or by your own hands some other tragic way…you can die slowly and painfully from some horrible disease as everyone who loves you watches you wither away.
…someone get me a fist full of cocaine and my car keys.


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