August 20
The eclipse is gonna take an HOUR AND A HALF?! …I don’t have the time or patience for that. I’m just going to lie and say I watched it if anyone asks, It’s not like I have to know who the opening band was or anything to complete to subterfuge…”yeah…it sure covered up the sun alright…that was really something (looks around nervously).”
August 18

SPOILER ALERT…to amuse myself I am going to leave my thoughts here on the defenders (editing this original post as I watch)
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6 minutes in – “Oh lord…this is gonna suck isn’t it…please don’t suck. I’m going to assume the first fight scene was filmed like crap because the doughy goof who plays Iron Fist STILL hasn’t bothered to learn even remedial martial arts and they had to make in impossible to follow in order to attempt to hide that. FYI …it didn’t hide that. Learn how to punch correctly maybe, if you’re going to take on a role of a martial arts master.
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14 minutes in- Karen page is a lying whore. I’ve pointed this out before, that she lies to everyone constantly. First scene in this show…she lies. F*cken Karen Page. And they should stop showing Iron Fist with his shirt off until they get this lazy douche on a workout program…”living weapon” my ass, he’s got the build of a 16 year old clerk at CVS. They should have just called it Marvel Team-up and made it Jessica and Daredevil…Iron Fist and Cage are embarrassingly unconvincing.

19 minutes in- We finally see Sigourney Weaver! a Nurse tells her “you have to disrobe”…ah if only this was 1992 again and she wasn’t post menophause…I bet she’s still hot…let’s see…

20 minutes in- they didn’t show any skin. feh.

30 minutes in- So the writers have Cage, the black guy get out of prison and in 5 minutes his gf is on his ass to get a job. …I lost track of what’s okay and what’s not, but is that cool?

45- minutes in …we have four black characters and two of them are unemployed…shame on you netflix. #wheresyourtikitorchyouracistbastards

end of episode 1- meh..it doesn’t suck, maybe this’ll be good.

Episode 2
30 seconds in- I might be all binge watched out…I have no interest in watching anymore or this. It’s not bad…I just…i just don’t wanna.

2 minutes in- a bunch of police sires…Murdoch beat up some guys…I miss youtube. I miss bad lighting and someone nervously explaining how to turn an egg carton into something or talking too quiet reviewing Easter eggs in some movie trailer…maybe I’ll just….just watch a little youtube and come back to this later.

12 minutes in- Angry Video Game Nerd has a new video up on you tube about crappy game boy accessories, not his best but pretty funny…wtf am I doing up at 4:30 in the morning? oh yeah…the Defenders…what episode am I on? …TWO?! How many are there?…there’s eight…f*ck this.

August 16

Decided to give Penny Dreadful a try while I’m working. It’s got a wolfman and Frankenstein and some vampires…and was apparently made by people who have no interest in any of those things. But hey, at least the dialogue is painfully bad.
This is like a writer from the CW and a writer of bad PBS dramas got together and wrote a script about upper class London in 1870 and when they were done the producer said “hey, uhm…make that guy a wolfman, and make that guy Dr.Frankenstein and throw in some vampires…and f*ck it, make that guy Dorian Gray”

August 14

In other news, I have stumbled upon full length old sh*tty movies on youtube…and by “sh*tty” I mean awesome. Watching -Night of the Comet- awesome.

AUGUST 11
Watched no.10 Cloverfield. Liked it a lot,good movie. But I am realizing with more and more movies…If I was in the movie I would not be the male lead but the old weirdo. I would not be the hipster guy in this movie…I’d be John Goodman…I would not be the young brash rebel guy in Rogue One…I’d be Saw Geurrera…I wouldn’t be Daredevil, I’d be Stick. I’m not okay with this. #tragicfigure #howdidigethere #thisblows
August 9

Bwhahahahahahahahhaaaa! This show is terrible! It’s 45 minutes of a high school slumber party wrapped around 5 minutes of action…I’m going to now watch every single episode in a row. see you on the other side.

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August 8

First day off in about 6 months…will now play Burger Time until I can’t see straight and go to sleep.

July 17

re: Dr.Who. Relax people, it’s just a t.v. show. It’s not like they’re letting women become actual doctors…because then I’d have f*cking problem with it. #gobackintimeandmakemeasandwich #timetraveltothekitchen

 

July 17

Why is it movies and shows are all using the same cut scene for the end of two people having sex- the person on top flops over as though he/she was hovering three feet above the other person and they booth gasp and say “wow”. I must be doing it wrong…I come to a slow stop like a deer that’s been shot with a tranquilizer dart, slowly slide off and then tiredly/feebly try to push the other person away.

July 5 ·

My new hobby is watching videos of youtube personalities and randomly pausing the video until I catch them with a weird/ugly/ridiculous look on their face, then sending them that screen capture with the note “this is what your face looks like when you say “comment”…then watching the next video they put up to see if they look self conscious when they say “comment”.

btw, only five pages left of original art from The Tick…if you want one, time’s running out. They’re on the Arsenic Lullaby online store. (not posting a link, figure it out)

June 17 ·

I’d like to say something about Wonder Woman being a good example for not just girls but BOYS.
As you start dating, you want a girl like Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman has her sh*t together, she has a code of honor, things she believes in, respect for herself and other people. The Black widow, Scarlet Witch, Harley Quinn…these are examples of women with debilitating character disorders, permanent mental scarring child hood trauma, who go through life sub-consciously punishing themselves and everyone around them. This will sound harsh, but it is for your own good, run away from them. They are attractive on several levels but they are a mess and will not be fixed. You want to date Wonder Woman…trust me on this, I have dated the others, the charm wears off fast and months and years of your life will peal off the calendar as you try to make things work with a walking disaster. Life is short, and you have very little time to build a good one. Wonder Woman. That’s the one you want.

June 14 ·

at the grocery store there was a little girl (maybe three or four) arguing/trying to negotiate with her dad for two kinds of potato chips. She tried being cute and pleading and frowning with her arms crossed, the whole gambit. I says to the guy “they get worse as they get older” and we both chuckled. He asked about mine and we talked briefly about dad stuff.
…I don’t have a daughter…I have a haunting reoccurring dream where I have a daughter. Most people, when they lose their grip on reality lose the ability to interact with sane people…my ability seems to have increased. Anyways, I’m defiantly using his advice about getting them to go to bed on time when I’m sleeping tonight.

June 9 ·

Have Dr.Strange on in the background while I work…upon a second viewing I think they could have kept the beginning from dragging on so much by casting R. Lee Ermey as the ancient one.
“I’m gonna call you Dr. Fiddler crab…you here to get your hands fixed Dr. fiddler crab? So you can go back home and stroke your boyfriends Johnson? ….I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
…that’s all I got, it’s late and I’m tired.

May 1, 2017

A strange little bug has flown onto my desk, fleeing the rain. He looks sorta like a lady bug but green instead of red. I’m going to name him Herman. and Herman has one last chance to stop crawling onto the paper I am trying to ink before I feed his ass to my angle fish. They will bite your face off Herman. Right the F8ck off.

**update-**...I warned you Herman. I’m upset with you for making me do this.

***update***Herman can swim…and knows enough to swim to the edge of the tank and crawl out, and the Angel fish are uninterested in him. Fine, everybody just keep doing whatever the hell you want, it’s not like I pay the rent around here.

April 28, 2017

according to the news this week WW3 is about to break out…
Dear Millennials, on behalf of Generation X, welcome to our entire childhood. Don’t worry, you get used to it…and in the end it’s as anticlimactic as the last episode of Lost.
BTW, now you know why we don’t seem to give as much of a f*ck about all the things you’re riled up about…because we grew up under the shadow of -all life on earth could be vaporized in half an hour. .

April 26, 2017

There is a blind man who lives down the street, a very nice fellow. Every afternoon he takes a walk past my apartment. I see him from my window…taking a walk with his cane..tap tap tap…and everyday he bumps into the same railing by the steps. Everyday…EVERY…DAY…THE SAME RAILING. Tap tap tap tap bump…pause…tap tap… THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON SINCE I MOVED HERE THREE YEARS AGO. how the fu…the railing hasn’t moved, you understand? and he walks the same path. and there is always the startled pause when he hits the railing…as though it wasn’t there yesterday…and THE DAY BEFORE THAT.
…Part of me wants to shout out the window “look out for the railing”…but then I’d just end up in this f*cking daily cycle along with him.
…another part of me wants to attach a cream pie to the railing at face level. But…I’m not going to. I am considering- resisting that temptation- as my good deed for the day. I expect to be compensated in karma daily.

April 23, 2017

I never much believed in the #mandelaeffect or alternate universes…but then I just saw THIS on youtube…that’s not what happened? Hogan didn’t push out of that headlock at the 1:40 mark. Valdez did a run up the wall type thing against the ringpost while holding onto the headlock and flipped over smashing Hogan down…the move was called “THE VALTRON” and fans started calling themselves “Valdites”…I had a “Valdization is sweeping the nation” T-shirt it was power blue. I DID…#whereami #isanythingreal #glitchinthesystem